Me and my friend, Mary, made this to distract ourselves from the Conneticut shootings. Mary's account on here is Wizard101WyvernGirl and her Wattpad is BlackSquirrel. My Wattpad is Drakonika6. Shout out to all my friends(even ones not mentioned in here). You are awesome!
Cyrus Drake walked into the bar, a scowl of distaste on his face(the usual). Then a knife flew through the wall and killed him .
Then two girls appeared out of nowhere, both quite happy. One had ice blue robes on, and the other was in black armor.
The girl with blue rubes suggested that they go execute Dugan next.
The girl in black armor stopped her from ending the world saying that if they wait long enough, it'll be even better than now.
Then Cyrus Drake came back to life as a zombie (lol) and farted rainbows. The girl in black armor cracked up.
The Cyrus Drake zombie started to eat the girl in black armor's head. The girl appeared behind him and said that was an illusion, and that she wasn't an idiot.
Cyrus Drake cursed them all and melted into a pool of rainbow colored goop.
Black armor replied that they had just discovered Unicorn Zombies.
The girl in blue robes suggested that they use their newfound unicorn zombies to execute Dugan.
Black armor(Alura) pointed out then his overdramatic ways would be lacking and it'd be fun.
Then Mary appeared out of nowhere because she wanted to be added to this!
Mary suggested that they put Cyrus in a tea holder thingy and make him permanently liquid.
So they did. Then they all took unicorn zombies to attack Dugan.
Dugan screamed in rage, accidentally ran into water, and melted.
Mary suggested they put him in a tea holder as well.
Alura agreed, wanting to see Cyrus and Dugan fight(hoping it wouldn't end the world).
Rachel began deciding who she wanted to root for since she hated them both, Mary began to regret her desicion to do this.
Alura decided to be neutral and pretend that this was all their idea, not hers, so she could see the fun and escape almost unscathed.
Then the tea holder blew up and Dugan and Cyrus were scattered all around the walls. Seth appeared out of the explosion and began to sing Friday by Rebecca Black.
Alura took her camera out, made him wear a bubblegum pink dress, and started recording.
Seth started screaming since it hurt the tiny bit of pride he had to wear a pink dress.
Rachel emailed the picture to everyone.
Alura posted it on Youtube, Wattpad, DeviantART, and Quizilla.
Ian saw the picture and started to tease him but his dragon had him in a maid outfit so he decided it was not his time to talk.
Alura took a picture of Ian(Osseus cheered).
Rachel suggested that they all clean up Dugan and Cyrus and sacrifice them to Ashley (In a volcano).
Alura thought about it, suggested removing Dugan first(to save the world), and got the idea to throw Cyrus in Mount Doom(He is as evil as that ring).
Rachel started complaining that they should at least try to turn Dugan into glass or a diamond so they could sell him on Ebay.
Alura agreed, as long as they put a camera on him to see the buyers reactions.
So they threw Cyrus into Mount Doom but to their surprise he was reincarnated as a dancing hobo monkey. Rachel sighed and pushed him back in.
Alura shot him in the penis before he fell in. The monkey looked at her in anger before dying.
They then proceeded to sell Dugan on Ebay. Rachel suggested they sell him to a buyer for over a million dollars but accidently sold him for a cent.
Alura didn't care. She wanted to post the buyers reaction on Youtube.
The person who bought him ended up being the annoying shadows.
Alura grinned, and watched Roslyn hack at Crystal Dugan with a chainsaw. Dugan unfroze a few minutes later.
When he came back to normal Roslyn started laughing evilly petting a cat that had magically appeared on her lap, Rachel stood next to her as she had teleported there sneezing because she was allergic to cats.
Alura was behind them, filming all this. She defended herself by saying that she couldn't stop them, and it was precious revenge, revenge. And that Cyrus Drake burned in Mount Doom(where she grinned).
Then someone (A hobo with a dog named Penis) asked why Rachel hated Dugan so much, it wasn't a mystery to anyone but Dugan who just couldn't figure it out...So everyone explained it to him leaving Dugan out of the conversation.
Alura chipped in quite a bit, grinning madly. Penis tried to hump the Hobo.
The Hobo started running away crying then his evil sisters appeared. One started pushing people down stairs then ended up getting pushed out a window the other started talking to her imaginary friend the Universe.
Alura pointed out that Universe was, in fact, not imaginary, and seemed to know everything about everyone.
Mary sighs and notices that the Universe did know a lot. Then she forgot to capitalize the U in universe so everyone threw pineapples at her.
Alura fixed the typo and threw Ralph at Cassie, who had randomly appeared, Ian started imagining Twilight on Ice, and Seth was being chased by a Tornado.
For some odd reason everyone got on a tour bus in California which Seth thought was called Californick so we all explained to him that it was California but he didn't have enough brain cells to process it so his head exploded.
Then Brian(an idiot brother) was on the bus, dancing naked doing the jog, saying it was to ward off demons(Alura had prank called him).
Mary covered Rachel's eyes not wanting to scar her for life.
Alura rolled her eyes, thinking that Rachel tortured Hitler, so nothing could scar her.
Ian started crying and his eyes caught on fire.
Alura decided to play a video of her brother Jonas jumping out the attic window into the pool(or trying to), and getting his trunks caught on the window sill. Everyone watched it. Then Jo appeared and started yelling at her, trying to launch rocks at her(earthbender), but for some reason the rocks kept going in the opposite direction he intended them to go in. His girlfriend and Jeff's sister, Kris, stood back laughing.
For some reason people in California thought a reenactment of the event would be even funnier than the video.
Alura made something holographic with the scene downloaded on it and handed them out to everyone, using her Artemis Fowl skills to make the holographic thingamajig.
From that day on everyone jumped out of the window to get their trunks stuck for fun.
Rachel thought this was stupid and froze all of California before running off to try to buy Dugan back so she could kill him.
Alura bought him back first, and gave him to Rachel. He was covered in astral whale sic(it is totally disguisting. Don't ask).
Rachel threw up in a bucket and sold him to slavery.
Alura bought him anonymously and gave him tasks that frustrated him to no end. He was confused why his powers weren't working(spells).
Mary then suggested that Alura give him the task to Babysit Rachel since she really didn't want to.
She agreed, and locked them in Ashley's newly built tree house.
Ashley started crying because she really didn't want this house wreaked so Rachel put her in water and she fainted.
Alura set up cameras live feeding back to her castle that Seth and Ian kept trying to claim, though they always died in the attempt.
First Rachel started hitting Dugan with a flaming baseball bat, then a flaming real live bat.
The bat called for Superman, forgetting that it meant Batman.
The bat commanded Superman to slay an evil dragon...which for some reason Dugan had turned into.
Dugan was then surprised when Superman killed him.
Rachel started laughing and petting a cat...then she remembered she was allergic and had to be rushed to a hospital.
Alura teleported her there, and somehow at the same time made Mary defeated(though she wasn't in battle) and Mary teleported to Alura, knowing it was her.
Mary started yelling bloody murder then...CYRUS DRAKE WAS BACK! They all woke up in a bar. Dugan was dead. Then the world started shaking.
"OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING!" Rachel screamed
But it was just Chris, causing an earthquake.
And Basil and Soul waiting outside for their friends inside the bar. Alura rushed Cyrus for doing that to them, and he panicked.
Then chocolate started to rain out of the sky.
Alura cursed her powers have a mind of their own.
Jeremy then appeared in a bunny suit. He began to hug a spider who then bit his head off .
Alura just stared and screamed.
Then the world actually did end. We all blamed Seth.
And Cyrus Drake, because he walked in in the first place.
-Made by Alura and Mary